It's amazing how quickly....

things can change. How a good day filled with fun and happiness can turn nearly tragic and make you really think about life. I am writing this little story mostly for journal purposes, and to record how I feel about it still today.

Yesterday, we decided to go to the zoo. I know it sounds crazy since it is like a million degrees outside. But, we decided to go early and just stay for a little bit. Kids get in free to the zoo all summer long and Jared and I got in free also because we have Bank of America credit cards. So, we couldn't pass up free. We had a great time at the zoo. It wasn't too hot yet in the day and the spider monkeys were out of control. They were jumping all around and one even ran right across Caleb's foot to get to a tree. We loved standing there watching all these monkeys play and have fun. We moved on to other animals and ended up at the Giraffe's. They have a new thing where you can feed the giraffes. It was so cool. They would put a food pellet in our hand and we just held it out and the giraffe grabbed it with his tongue. Gavin and Sabrina held bits of lettuce in their hands and the giraffe would gobble it right up. (Pictures will be posted at a later date). After a couple of hours at the zoo we decided it was starting to get hot and we went to AZ Mills mall to do a little school shopping.

Here is where the day changed from one of fun to scary. Even as I sit here and type it, my heart is racing and tears are falling down my cheeks. I was inside a store looking at stuff and Jared and the kids stayed outside to play on the little toys they have. When I finished up and came out, Jared was searching for Sabrina. He watched her go with Gavin from one set of toys to another about 15 feet away and then she was gone. We started searching for her. We went into the stores in the area wondering if she had wandered in there looking for me. But, did not find her. We started going up and down in different directions looking for her. The thing about losing your child in this enviornment is that I feared that if I went too far away from where we last saw her, I would not find her again. What if she had come back looking for us at that spot and we were not there? But, how far could she wander on her own? What if someone picked her up and took her? The things that go through my mind were crazy. There were a lot of people at the mall yesterday. It was really quite packed. I think I watch too many shows and read too many books with this kind of situation. After about 15 min of searching and not finding her, Jared told me to stay there and he was going to find mall security. I just started to cry right in the middle of the mall. What if we couldn't find her? What if she was no longer in our life? I don't think I could live with that outcome. Caleb is very sensitive and when I started crying, he started crying. I just held onto him and cried in the middle of the mall with people walking by looking at me like I was crazy. But, no one bothering to stop and ask if they could help in some way.

A few minutes went by and I suddenly looked down the way a little bit and saw a nice mother carrying Sabrina with her own daughter in tow. I ran over to her and as she handed Sabrina back to me, she hugged me and just held onto me. I thanked her over and over for keeping my baby safe while she was away from me. She said she found her walking alone and crying. She called security, but they had not come yet. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for putting that woman in Sabrina's path. For helping her to be alert enough to notice Sabrina and that she needed help. For comforting her like she was her own until she found me. I cannot thank the woman enough that kept her safe for me. I will never forget her.

Jared and I are still pretty shaken by this experience. As I have continued to think about it today, I started to think about how our Heavenly Father feels about us when we become lost from Him. We are not with Him physically everyday and the only way He has to be a part of our lives is through prayer. And yet, sometimes we choose to not let Him in our lives. I imagine that He mourns over us for choosing to not communicate with him. We always hear how He is just waiting for us to come to him. I now can picture Him waiting like I was for Sabrina. For someone that has kept us safe in the time that we have been away from Him. We have been given each other in this life to keep us safe and help us get back to our Heavenly Father, both in this life and in the life to come. I am not sure that all of this makes sense. I can't seem to put into words adequately what I feel. But, I just know that this experience with losing Sabrina for a brief period really affected me and turned my thoughts to my Heavenly Father and my Savior. Have I been letting Him be a part of my life like I know He wants to be? I know I can do better.